And I just want my friends.
And I just want my mum.
And I just want to feel normal.
And I want to feel healthy.
And I want to celebrate Christmas.
And I want to focus and finish my course.
And I want to enjoy my holidays.
And I want to feel the love I’m given everyday.
And I want to give more.
And I want to be less selfish.
And I want Joe.
God knows how hard he’s working right now. But I want Joe.
I need my Joe.
It’s times like these that make me realise how much I love him.
This sounds like such a corny thing but I’m not going to hide it.
I need him.
And, I want to stop hiding parts of myself and lying to myself.
And I want to stop absolutely loathing myself.
And yet, I don’t want comfort.
And I don’t want help.
And I don’t want anything.
But to be asleep forever.
Because even though so many people think I’m strong.
I’ve lost a lot of friends. And I’m struggling to find who my real friends are. But I’m nearly there.
And, you can choose your family.
But I love all of my family. But it’s so much. I hate being at home for long periods of time. I need to go somewhere for a night or a couple of nights. (Near Joe … Or in Freo…somewhere…)
Yet I can’t bear to leave home or even Ellenbrook at the moment because of certain. Things.
And I’m still stressed.
And it’s holidays
And I can’t relax.
And I’m so anxious and wound up.
And I’m just in a bad place.
And I need to just push through.
And I can push through.
But right now.
And I’m tired…